


If I ever lose your love

by Ruby_slippers



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 20:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30044019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruby_slippers/pseuds/Ruby_slippers
Summary: Ben is scared of losing Callum's love...
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	If I ever lose your love

**Author's Note:**

> Suffering from real writers block, so tried to just chill and let something flow today!  
> Hope it's not too rubbish. :-)

“Oh hey Jake, how’s it going” Callum said into his phone.

Sat at the kitchen table Ben rolled his eyes. Oh good, Jake again. That name seemed to be coming off Callum’s lips all the time at the moment. He was the new copper at work. Transferred in from a different force, and had instantly become best mates with Callum. It wasn’t that Ben was bothered about Callum having mates, but there was something about this guy that Ben wasn’t keen on, and it just felt like this guy wanted to be more than friends.

“Tonight? Yeah sure I can come out for a quick one.” Callum said standing up and walking towards the kitchen sink.

Ben glared at the back of Callum’s head. He was getting pretty sick of this, Callum didn’t even bother to ask him if they had any plans tonight, that bothered him, more than it really should. 

“Yeah, I love it when that happened… It was you, all you… You are hilarious” Callum continued his phone call, turning to look at Ben, smiling broadly. “Yep, see you at 6” Callum finished his phone call, looking down at his phone in his hand, writing a message.

“So you’re off out tonight then” Ben said coldly.

“Hmm” 

“Callum.” Ben said more sharply.

Callum looked up at Ben. “Oh yeah, Jake’s going out for a drink, so I said I’d pop by for a quick one.”

“Right.”

“Why? We’ve got no plans tonight.”

“Nope, no plans.” Ben said walking out and going into the living room. This was the third time in a week that Callum had gone out for a drink with this guy, the last two times a ‘quick drink’ had turned into an all nighter and Callum returning home drunk and giggling at 2 in the morning. It didn’t help that he was also working late with Jake most of the time. He was starting to wonder if there was something going on.

“Right, I’m just going to get changed” Callum said popping his head around the door of the living room. 

“Yep” Ben said, turning on the TV, as Callum went upstairs.

Ben couldn’t believe it, some new guy arrives on the scene and all of the sudden Callum didn’t want to spend any time together anymore. He would much rather be with Jake.

“Look bruv, if you are worried you need to talk to him.” Jay said to Ben. He had called him after Callum had left and they were now having a pint in the Vic.

“And say what? I think that you don’t love me anymore?” Ben said.

“Ben” Jay sighed.

“And that you want to be with Jake now? He’ll be so pissed off, all he’s doing is hanging out with his mate and I’m all over the place, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong.”

“Yeah but bruv, it’s making you feel bad and he needs to know” Jay said, looking softly at Ben.

“I’m probably just overreacting”

“Ben, look. I have no doubt that Callum loves you, yeah? You’ve already booked your wedding, and he still lights up whenever you are around, he’s just excited to have a new mate. He likes this guy, he’s having a laugh, but it doesn’t mean that he can just spend all of his free time with him. Just tell him you want him to be around more. You know be a grown up, have a conversation!”

“Alright, I’ll try and talk to him.”

“Well why don’t you start now? He said he was only going for one, but he’s been gone for what? 2 hours? Text him and ask him to come home.”

“I don’t know” Ben said nervously, running his finger up and down his pint glass.

“Ben just do it” Jay said annoyed.

“Fine” Ben said taking his phone out of his jacket and sending the message. “It’s done”

“Right then, go home, and talk to him!”

Ben was pacing the living room when Callum arrived back.

“What’s wrong?” Callum rushed into the room.

“Er nothing, why?”

“You asked me to come home”

“I er, I just missed you” Ben said looking at the floor.

“Oh, Ben” Callum said walking over and wrapping his arms around Ben. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be gone so long, just got carried away.” Callum kissed Ben’s forehead. “Let’s go to bed yeah?”

“Yeah” Ben said wrapping himself around Callum as they walked up the stairs to bed.

It had been a boring day in the car lot, there had been no customers through the door all day and with Jay deciding to take a last minute day off, Ben couldn’t wait to get home to Callum. He had already text Lola and she was going to spend the evening with Lexi over at Billy’s and Phil was out of town, so they could spend the evening alone.  
He had the evening planned out in his head, after all there had been nothing else to do. Romantic candle lit dinner, then a shared hot bath and then bed. He particularly couldn’t wait to get into bed, Callum had worked late all week and he had tried to stay awake, but he had failed to, and so the thought of getting his hands on his fiancé’s gorgeous body was the only thing keeping him going all day.

Arriving home at 5.30 the house was locked up and the lights off. Callum must not be home yet. Ben was going to start on dinner, but decided that they could eat later, he was happy to just get a Chinese delivered, after all the bath was calling and the alure of candles and bubbles, and a wet naked Callum was just too great.  
He walked up the stairs and started running the bath, humming to himself as he went back to their bedroom to find the candles his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

Callum

‘hey, just popping out for a drink with Jake, be back later x’

Ben sat down on the bed sighing. Here we go again, more Jake. He went back in the bathroom, turning off the taps and emptying the bath. Well there was no point staying home alone, so he decided to get changed and go to the Albert for a drink. Maybe he could find someone there who might find him interesting. After all, his fiancé didn’t anymore.

The Albert was pretty quiet, so Ben ordered a beer and took a seat in a booth. He felt awful, all he wanted was some quality time with his man and that clearly wasn’t going to happen. Since he had asked Callum to come home they had spent one evening together and the whole time Jake was texting him. He seemed to find this guy so funny, chuckling so hard that his whole body vibrated as Ben tried to cuddle him. He was constantly working as well, they seemed to work late together a lot, and twice Callum forgot to text and say that he was going to be late, Ben always seemed to be so far from his mind.

Ben sat peeling the label from his beer bottle, lost in a world of his own when he was joined in the booth.

“So, what’s going on”  
He turned to look at his mum sat next to him.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well Lola told me earlier that she and Lex had cleared out tonight so that you and Cal could have a romantic evening and yet here you are drinking alone. So, what is going on?” Kathy looked at him, her left eyebrow raised.

“Nothing”

“Ben” Kathy said sternly.

“Cal’s busy, that’s all”

“Doing what?”

“He’s out with this new mate. Jake.” Ben said, his lip wobbling.

“Ben, love, he’s going to have friends”

“This is different mum.”

“Why?”

“He’s always with him, and if he’s not then he’s always talking to him. I don’t…I don’t think that he loves me anymore”

“Ben I’m sure he does, I know he does, you are everything to him. Have you spoken to him?”

“I tried.”

“Did you really? Did you tell him how you feel?”

“I asked him to come home when he was in the pub with Jake the other day and he did”

“Well there you go”

“But that was only for one day, he’s worked late with him all week and he’s back with him now.” Ben sighed. “I think…” Ben’s eyes welled up and a tear fell down his right cheek. “I think we’re over mum”

“Ben, no don’t say that”

“I’ll see ya later mum” Ben said downing his drink and walking out as his mum grabbed her phone from her bag, opening up a new text message.

Ben entered the tube station, with raised shoulders and his head down, he walked up the stairs and went on to the platform. He wasn’t sure where he was heading, but he wasn’t staying here. If Callum was off having fun with someone else then he was going to find some fun too. A blow out before the end of his relationship. He just wanted to get off his head, forget everything and hope that he could find a way to dull the pain in his stomach and stop the tears in his eyes from falling.   
He looked up at the platform screen, train delayed. Typical. He took a seat pulling his jacket more tightly around him, staring at the ground in front of him.

“So I hear I’m no longer getting married.”

Ben looked up to find Callum walking towards him.

“What?”

“Well apparently I don’t love you anymore”

“What?”

Callum was now stood in front of him. “Come here” he said leaning down and grabbing Ben from his seat, he pulled him close, Ben stumbling into his arms. 

“Ben” Callum said loosening his hold and putting his hands either side of Ben’s face as Ben looked at the floor. “Please look at me”  
Ben slowly looked up at Callum, eyes filled with tears. “I love you”   
Ben looked at the ground again.  
“Ben, look at me”  
Ben looked up again.

“I’m so sorry.” Callum said stroking his left hand down Ben’s cheek. “Your mum text. I had no idea what I was doing, or how I was making you feel. Nothing has changed, nothing will ever change, I love you, no one is more important that you, and I can’t believe that I made you feel like this.”

“Cal, I er”

“No, let me finish. You Ben” Callum pressed their foreheads together “you are my everything. Yes I have been having a laugh at work, Jake is a laugh, but you are my life. I don’t want you to ever doubt that. I love you, and I can’t wait to marry you. If you still want to marry me of course.”

A tear rolled down Ben’s face “of course I want to marry you. Are you sure?”

“About what?”

“About marrying me?” Ben said quietly, voice barely a whisper.

Callum leant in and kissed him, hard, kissing him deeper and deeper, until he pulled back gasping. “Yes handsome, I know that more than anything, I love you more than anything. Let’s go home and I’ll show you how much I want to marry you.” He said taking Ben’s hand and walking him out of the station.

Back at home, Callum took Ben upstairs and straight into their bedroom where he pulled Ben in towards him and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss, running the fingers on his right hand through Ben’s hair as his left hand ran up and down Ben’s back. Ben whimpered into the kiss as he grasped Callum’s jacket with both of his hands. Callum pulled back from the kiss and stared into Ben’s eyes pausing. 

“You are so beautiful, so gorgeous, so wonderful” Callum said as he kissed Ben all over his face, slowly removing Ben’s clothing, slipping his jacket and shirt off his shoulders. “you have the biggest heart” he kissed down Ben’s naked chest “and the sexiest body” he undid Ben’s trousers whilst kissing Ben’s stomach and pushing his trousers down his legs as Callum went to his knees.

“Cal stop” Callum looked up at Ben. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I er, can we just cuddle?”

Callum stood back up. “Of course we can baby. We don’t have to do anything, I just want to be with you.”

Ben climbed into bed, as Callum stripped down to his boxers getting in beside him, and instantly pulling Ben close. Ben sighed into Callum’s arms. Feeling the tension leaving his body, the tears started to fall. Callum squeezed him tighter whispering “I love you” over and over into Ben’s hair, until Ben’s tears stopped.

Ben finally found his voice “I’m sorry Cal, I just thought I was losing you.”

“Ben you are never going to lose me. I like hanging out with Jake, he’s fun, but he’s nothing, he’s not you.”

“Ok”

“Look, I’ll be honest, he is gay.” Callum said releasing Ben slightly from his hold so that he could look at him “But it doesn’t matter, because I am taken, so very taken and I’m not interested, I never will be.”

“I was just scared” Ben said, his voice wobbling slightly.

“You don’t need to be, and I don’t ever want you to feel like this again. Jake is a mate, and I get that we have been spending a lot of time together, it has been fun, but I would never want to be with anyone other than you. Please tell me you believe me.”

Ben sighed, “I do Cal, I do”

“I can’t wait to marry you”

“I can’t wait to marry you either. But I’m hungry.”

“I love you Ben Mitchell” Callum laughed. “Let’s get a chinese”

The next day was boring. Another day of no punters which was a bit concerning, but Ben’s paperwork had never been in such a good state. At 5 he decided to call it a day, wandering slowly home through the gardens. As he arrived home he could see a light on in the house, Lexi and Lola must be in, at least he was going to have some time with his daughter, she always cheered him up. He opened the front door to a lovely display. There were fairy lights wrapped around the bannisters going up the stairs, a gorgeous smell coming from the kitchen and Callum stood holding a glass of something bubbly.

“Er, hi”

“Hi handsome, welcome home” Callum said.

“What’s going on?” Ben asked, stepping through the door and closing it behind him.

“Well I realised that I have been taking my fiancé for granted, and I need to show him how loved he is.” Callum said.

Ben smiled. “Oh really?”

“Really” Callum said walking towards Ben handing him the glass and giving him a kiss. “So coat off, shoes off, and join me in the living room please” he continued, walking down the hallway and entering the living room.  
Ben slipped off his coat and shoes and followed him. The living room looked amazing, the lighting was low and there were candles everywhere with soft music playing, the table was set with more candles, and there were rose petals on the table and all over the floor.

“Wow” Ben said, his eyes filling with tears.

“I love you baby” Callum said pulling Ben towards him, kissing his head. “Grab yourself a seat, and I’ll bring you your dinner.”

Ben took a seat as Callum left the room, finally taking in his surroundings, it was amazing, he sat back with a smile on his face.  
Callum returned carrying 2 plates of steaming pasta. 

“Cal, this is so amazing, why have you done this?”

“I needed to show my fiancé how much I love him, and I do, so much Ben”

“Ok, ok, I know. This is amazing. Where is everyone?”

“Well you know you wanted us to have a romantic evening last night and I messed it up, so we’re trying again. Lo and Lex are at your mum’s tonight. She was well up for them staying, and I called Phil so he’s staying away another night.”

“You called my dad?” Ben laughed.

“Yep, I want you all to myself tonight, and we are not going to be quiet” Callum said raising his eyebrows at Ben.

“Oh really?”

“Oh yeah, so hurry up and eat your dinner” Callum smiled.

Callum dumped the plates in the kitchen sink and returned back to Ben in the living room. Grabbing Ben he pulled him into a slow dance, wrapping his arms around Ben, they started to sway gently as Callum kissed Ben’s hair, enjoying being close as they listening to a couple of soft, romantic songs. 

“Hmm, I love you Cal” Ben said softly.

“I love you so much” Callum whispered back.

“Can we go to bed now?”

Callum stopped, holding Ben’s hand he guided him out of the door and up the stairs.

Ben lay across Callum’s sweaty and naked chest, running his hand up and down Callum’s arm, breathing deeply.

“It just gets better Cal” Ben kissed Callum’s chest. “I love you”

Callum smiled pressing his lips in Ben’s hair, kissing him. “I love you so much Ben, you are never going to lose my love.”

Ben squeezed Callum tighter, smiling into Callum’s chest as he felt the lull of sleep take over him.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter - @Rubyslippers820 :-)


End file.
